Today I went to Walmart. That’s not that special, I go like every day. I am really into super stores. Anyway, I was buying some caffeine pills. A lot of people think those are bad for you. To that I would say they are not meth, so…. But you do have to be carded in order to buy caffeine pills. You have to be 18 or older. The attendant came over and when I offered to show him my license, he said “No, that’s okay” and just put in that I am over 18.
First of all, thank you sir. I would prefer not to be associated with 18 year olds. But second of all, when did I stop needing to be carded when these things come up? Why do you not need to see my license for me to buy over the counter drugs? Like I would be curious to know what day exactly did I cross this threshold into looking old enough to buy random stuff? So now that I am older I can just start huffing glue and no one cares? Who monitors me if they don’t want to see my license?
These are the kinds of things I think about at the store.
On April 11, 2013 someone posted that on my About Me page. It made me laugh a lot reading it this morning. All I could think was “That’s fair”. Describe yourself to someone and that is their response. I picture me going on and on while riding the bus and this person turning to me and saying that. It’s a funny scenario that could probably boost some Indie movie somewhere. Yes, I do make-up scenarios for things that happen online.
I think the best part about this is that the date on it is in 2013. As I look back on the dates for my blog, I have been posting a few times about every 6 months for 7 years now. Though I am not the most consistent in terms of blocks of time like 6 months, I am super consistent for 7 years.
It kind of reminds me of my work history. Been to a few different places over the years, but still have a track record of working in tech. 7 years of my thoughts out there on the internet. That’s not bad.
Not really. I have been thinking about my blog lately just because I feel like so much is changing and yet things are a little…boring? Like lately I have not wanted to sit and watch TV shows at night, but there doesn’t seem much else to do. A lot of times I just end up going to bed. Which works because lately I have not been feeling good physically. However, then I am up at 3 am doing nothing of value.
What do normal people do at night? And by normal people, I mean people who are….not me. Everyone is normal but me. HA!
Then I always end up back on here. I usually leave when I get a fear of what I post on the internet. Fear that I am sharing too much on here. But I am a millennial. Child of the internet. Hell, even work in tech support. What can you do? Apparently write a post about my deepest thoughts and then hope to get some sleep. Don’t even need to tag it, just want to write it and post.
One of the reasons I feel like I enjoy and am more consistent with blogging instead of journaling is with journaling I feel like I have all these rules I have to follow. Blogging I can just talk about anything I want.
Who came up with these rules? Oh, that would be me. Self imposed.
What are these rules? They aren’t necessarily rules as much as questions that lead to awkwardness.
Like if you start writing in a new journal, do you introduce yourself to the “reader”? Am I suppose to tell them the basics before they delve into my most personal thoughts? And if I forget to journal for like a month or two or six, when I start again do I have to reset the stage if my life? If I dive right in, they won’t even know basic things and then I’ll start talking about my Mom and this “reader” might be like “Whoa? You have a mother? Mind blown.”
Follow-up question, who is this “reader”? Who is going to be reading all these journals I write? I guess my future children, maybe. But that brings up even more questions. Like maybe I should be a bit more proper and less open about my thoughts since my children might read it. Do I want them reading it and be like “Geez, her life was a mess.”? Because apparently my children will be super judgmental. Also, are they going to read it when they are actually children or can they be adults that I just happened to spawn?
Do you see all these questions? I could keep going too.
See how they lead to journaling rules and posturing in my journal?
Meanwhile my blog always felt more freeform and loosey goosey. I could always just say what I wanted to say, because it was just a note in the middle of the internet. There are millions of those.
I don’t have to wonder what to say or talk about my day specifically. I can just get on here and talk. And it’s always there, even after a year of not posting.
I suppose this makes me the ultimate millennial. But we are who we are and we like what we like.
I opened up this new post about 4 hours ago and I am still not sure what I was planning on writing about this morning.
I know last night as I was laying in bed I was thinking about something that I wanted to talk about on here, but now that the time has come, I am not so sure what I was planning on saying.
Isn’t that fun for me?
Regardless, I did open up the new post and so here I am writing. I am not sure how I am doing lately. I feel like every day it changes constantly.
But I am trying my best.
I am back working. I am just Customer Service for a company right now, which makes me feel a bit like a loser.
I personally made the choice to go back to Customer Service, however, sometimes it still leaves me feeling lame. Like I worked really hard before to climb the metaphorical ladder, but now I am just back to doing what I did before.
For that reason, everyday that I go to work and finish, it is a bit of an accomplishment for me. I’m constantly reminding myself of the benefits that this job gives me and why I took it in the first place.
But again, any day I do it is an accomplishment and this is something I remind myself of every day when I get home.
My other most recent accomplishments, because it’s important for my to announce to people my accomplishments, is I started going to the gym.
This is another thing that I have to go ahead and congratulate myself on daily. Every day that I go to the gym is an accomplishment for me as well.
So, when I am trying to walk up the stairs to my house and my calves are all tense and my body feels like hell, I have to remind myself that I know have bragging rights of saying that I go to the gym.
I also have the bragging rights of saying that I run on a weekly basis. I go more than once a week, but in reality I shouldn’t be bragging about anything related to the gym, because I definitely do not look like I attend the gym.
But bragging rights are still important.
SO! I have no clue what I originally was going to say in this post, but I have now successfully listed out my not real accomplishments as of late.
Please congratulate me…
Well, I can’t promise I’ll be your best friend, but I am a person who likes expressing and reacting to others. And I like texting, so it’s not a bad offer while you’re searching for a friend.
That’s the last text based message I sent. It was to a stranger online who told me at 2 am they’ve never had a best friend. At 2 am it seems pretty accurate for how I feel about my interactions with people.